146 Reasons Why You Should Most Definitely Date Me

Of course I had to do a counter-post to my previous list of 153 reasons why you probably shouldn’t date me. As I went through I realized a few of the items on the other list were redundant. But any-who, here you have 146 reasons why you should absolutely, positively, most definitely, without a doubt date me! I’m trying to tell y’all. I’m kind of awesome!

1. I’m not perfect. As a result I won’t expect you to be either. I will understand if you mess up (within reason. No cheating allowed) and as long as you show remorse and that you really are working on it. I’m cool with that.

2. I don’t really like to argue. Definitely not screaming yelling matches. But even minor disagreements. I know they will happen. But if they can happen without yelling, screaming and tire slashing…I’m all for that.

3. I have pretty awesome hair. Sometimes I wear it straight and feel super fierce and you can run your fingers through it. Most of the time I wear it curly and it’s big and beautiful and you’ll want to touch it. I’ll let you because you’re my boo.

4. People have said I have pretty feet. I keep them done regularly so if you have a thing for feet that’s good.

5. While I don’t do foot rubs, I will gladly offer up a good back or shoulder rub.

6. We can totally go get pedicures together. I would find that to be a really great date.

7. I don’t expect you to pay for me to get my nails done. I very rarely have fake nails but when I do, I can pay for them. If you wanted to, I would struggle to let you unless you insisted.

8. I smell like coconut!!! Legit. My hair products, my lotion, my body wash..all coconut. I’m like a walking tropical island with a pina colada.

9. I have a great support system outside of you. While I’ll definitely talk to you about my problems or concerns I don’t expect you to fix them. If you aren’t readily available I won’t have a meltdown.

10. I will gush about you to my friends and family. I will struggle not to tell them every simple, sweet, wonderful thing you do. If you are amazing, they will know.

11. I’m really close to my parents. I love them and they are my favorite, but they do want me to have a life outside of them and the house. They are permanent babysitters with zero concern about it if we go out.

12. I make a decent living. Not rich but my bills get paid on time. If your bae, I don’t mind treating you to a nice night. Together we would probably have a decent life as long as you make more than minimum wage.

13. I have a daughter. She tells me I’m a pretty good mom. I’m sure I could do better. If we had children I would be a pretty good mom to those kids too. I love babies.

14. I’m not a Virgin! I mean if you’re lookin for a Virgin this isn’t going to work but if you don’t care about that kind of things we might have decent sex.

15. I probably won’t judge you on your number count. I mean if it’s like 1000 I will question your mental stability and it probably won’t work out. But if it’s a pretty normal number I won’t care. That’s actually not a question I ever care about asking.

16. I like to sleep.

17. We can take naps together and I will consider this quality time spent together.

18. If you like thighs. I’ve got thighs for days.

19. I’ll understand if you aren’t a big fan of the gym.

20. I don’t expect you to be a perfectionist.

21. If you propose, our wedding planning may or may not be already completed as long as you like my style. But if you proposed because you love me you’ll probably like my style.

22. Why would you not want a wedding with hints of Harry Potter?

23. I love Harry Potter. This honestly gives you an endless supply of gift ideas for any occasion.

24. I will leave you alone while you watch sports if that’s what you want. Or I’ll grab a book and read next to you while you watch. Or if you want to try explaining it to me I will listen. I’ll also make you wings.

25. I make a pretty good hot wing among many other food and desert related items.

26. I’m not stupid. You should like that unless you just like dating stupid women. Whatever floats your boat there.

27. I have my masters degree. You can brag about that to your coworkers.

28. I pick up on little details in conversations and daily living. I like to do little things to show you I care even if you haven’t flat out said you like or need something. I’ll see it. (Sometimes)

29. I will get you Valentine’s gifts. We can definitely show each other that we love each other all year round, but we can also do fun things on Valentine’s too!

30. While I’m not a fan of combined birthday and Christmas presents I’m used to them. I’ll playfully give you a hard time about it but I won’t be mad.

31. I like reading. I won’t force you to If you don’t like too but if you do that’s great. Books are awesome.

32. I blog! That means you get a first hand look into what’s going on in my head without even having to ask!

33. I will write about you in my blog! Especially if it works out or you make me really happy!

34. I won’t send random nudes to random people. If you can appreciate this you are my kind of person.

35. I’ve got lots of curves, good for cuddling, hugging and napping on. Pick a thigh, butt cheek or fluffy tummy space and rest your weary head.

36. Sometimes I get dressed up and fancy and turn a few heads.

37. I have good hygiene. I don’t like smelling bad. I don’t wear perfume and no one tells me I stink so I think I just naturally smell good.

38. I’m very passionate about my job and enjoy what I do. I’ll have lots of entertaining stories for

39. I’m a good listener.

40. I don’t really offer a lot of advice because I assume people are naturally smart and know how to live their life better than I do. But if I do offer advice it will be well thought out and hopefully helpful.

41. I’m not a fan of the silent treatment. So I probably won’t do that if we argue. Some time to step away and calm down, sure, but not ignoring calls or texts. Let’s talk this out and get to the making up!

42. I’m not a grammar nazi

43. You can pick on my grammar. I don’t care

44. You can help me with math so you can feel smarter than me there

45. I won’t judge you if your bed isn’t made. Just change the sheets regularly.

46. I make pretty babies. I also had a pretty easy pregnancy the first go around so if the next time goes the same it should be pretty stress free for you.

47. I shed a lot in the shower but not anywhere else. So you won’t find random hairs all over the place.

48. When slightly intoxicated I don’t care what I look like when I dance. So you may find that entertaining. I also have random dance parties in the kitchen when I’m cooking. You can join.

49. Sometimes I sing to annoy my daughter. It’s usually old Mariah Carey songs. Or other 90’s R&B

50. Once I’m comfortable around you, and I start singing and dancing you will have an endless supply of entertainment.

51. Once I feel safe and comfortable around you, you may wish I no longer was but it’ll still be fun. That’s the point right. To find someone you can be 100% yourself around.

52. I will not get shitfaced in public. You will not have to drag me out of anywhere drunk.

53. When my friends and I go out for margaritas and movies, you should definitely go do something with your friends. See ya later babe!

54. I love to travel. We can start a travel bucket list and do all the things.

55. I won’t make fun of you for having boogers. Boogers are natural. I’ll get you a tissue

56. I will take care of you when you have the man-flu. I’m a nurterer to my core.

57. I’m a great little spoon.

58. I don’t mind wearing ear plugs if you snore.

59. I like to joke and flirt. Not so much like full on shit talk though.

60. I’ll willingly let you drive everywhere!

61. Women are hot but we won’t have a threesome (not sure if you’ll find that to be a plus or not)

62. I am super open and accepting of most things and people. Do you boo just don’t hurt or kill anyone.

63. Not going to lie. I appreciate traditional gender roles at times.

64. I love black people!

65. My mom is white and she’s the most awesome white woman you will ever meet.

66. I won’t cuss at you. Like cuss you out. I don’t appreciate it happening to me so I don’t do it.

67. I will pray for you. I already am.

68. God is good all the time and all the time God is good. I try to remember this and live life accordingly and engage with people accordingly. But I’m not perfect.

69. I will go to church with you.

70. I approach people with the idea that all people are inherently good. I will believe you are good and trustworthy unless you prove me wrong.

71. The idea of being in a committed relationship with a man at the head of that relationship most days gives me hope. I may be feisty and fiery but I will submit and follow if I believe in the direction we are going. I will be the best rib you have ever found.

72. I believe in work and putting in work to make a relationship work.

73. I think a lot and try to see if there are areas I need to work on without someone else pointing it out.

74. I am not a vengeful person. I’m not usually interested in revenge.

75. I am not a picky eater. My foods I don’t eat list includes canned asparagus and liver if it’s not cooked right. So you can pretty much take me anywhere and I’ll be happy.

76. If you pay for the food, I will not waste it

77. If something is chasing us it will probably get me first because I can’t run.

78. You can make fun of my heavy breathing. I don’t care.

79. You can make fun of my hard blinking. I don’t care.

80. Growing up in the military instilled a love for travel and culture and diversity.

81. I am excited to have more kids one day within a loving and committed relationship/Home

82. My pettiness is usually not directed at people I love.

83. I have tried to learn something from each relationship I have been in no matter how short or long it was.

84. I will be honest with you

85. I won’t expect you to be near me 24/7

86. I will hold you to standards. I will encourage and support you in whatever goals you have set for yourself (unless it’s goals like sleep with a thousand women).

87. I will respect you

88. I will be faithful

89. I will consider your feelings in almost everything I do.

90. I will be kind to you

91. I’m not a hoe

92. I won’t have you out here looking stupid

93. I will try my best to keep my word.

94. I will go out with you!! And sometimes I will pay too!

95. I will tell you the truth

96. I will be mindful of your feelings and not say things to be intentionally cruel.

97. I will treat you like a man

98. I won’t hit you

99. While I’m quiet I think I can hold a decent conversation about more than the weather. I’m kind of funny sometimes too. Unless really mad I don’t yell. I won’t cuss you out.

100. I obey the law. There is very little chance you will ever have to bail me out of jail.

101. I drink responsibly.

102. I will try with everything in my being to understand you and not assume I know you.

103. I will mess up. But what’s life without a few good stories to tell.

104. You won’t have to stop me from fighting in public.

105. My taste in music is super varied. Chances are I like whatever you like. If not I can be easily convinced.

106. I won’t judge you for liking “bad” music.

107. You can teach me all the cool kid things. I won’t be good at it but it’ll give you a good laugh.

108. If your black, you can teach me all the cool black people stuff.

109. I won’t judge you if you like coffee.

110. I won’t send you hey stranger texts. Actually, if it doesn’t work out, you don’t have to worry about me contacting you. I will pretty much disappear and I will definitely leave you alone.

111. I think tattoos are cool.

112. I will listen to all your tattoo stories with extreme interest.

113. I will understand if sometimes you obsess over things. Even if I don’t understand the thing.

114. We can try new things together. Food, activities, outings. Whatever. New is fun. Or you can teach me new things. That’s fun too.

115. I understand that people change. Growth is good.

116. I will pay attention to you. I text back super fast. If I don’t I’m either working or asleep. But usually I text back super fast.

117. I’m usually not super busy so we can do things as long as I have some advance notice to plan.

118. Im easily pleased. I don’t need lots of fancy things.

119. We can do creative things together. Painting classes. Painting pottery. I’m crafty! Need something created, I’m your girl!

120. Sometimes I might surprise you.

121. If you choose to leave by way of cheating and finding someone else before you leave me. I probably won’t flip out. I will be sad and hurt. I won’t key your car or try to kill you. I won’t show up and fight the girl. I will willingly concede and walk away.

122. I’m not a nag (well not much).

123. My guy friends are awesome. You might like them.

124. I’m not the jealous type as long as things don’t feel suspicious and you are honest. Communication and openness goes a long way.

125. I will understand if past relationships have you wary about ours. We can work on that together.

126. There’s still a lot of me to learn and discover!

127. I won’t judge you if you like things that aren’t the norm or technically cool by other people’s standards.

128. I’m tall!

129. Self care is important to me so I will totally encourage you to have your own self care routines.

130. I have a theory about short men after years of research with tall men. So I’m not opposed at all.

131. Guys don’t talk to me in public for the most part because I’m apparently intimidating. So you don’t have to worry about that if I go out without you.

132. They really don’t talk to me if I have my resting bitch face on. So I can always just do that.

133. My period is super predictable. Give me peanut m&m’s the week before and I’ll love you forever.

134. I appreciate constructive feedback at times.

135. I like to joke

136. I appreciate sarcasm.

137. I will laugh at you and with you.

138. My social media posts are entertaining.

139. I don’t think I ask for too much.

140. I won’t nag you with questions.

141. I like watching tv. We can binge watch things together.

142. I give lots of chances

143. I will not judge your past life. Unless you were a serial killer or rapist.

144. We can go to the movies and I will be super happy!

145. I have had one guy open a car door for me in order for me to get out of the car. That’s awkward. Don’t do that. Unless you want. You can open doors though. I won’t judge you if you don’t. I appreciate chivalry and common male niceness

146. I have a passport. We can travel the world together!

It’s a Date!

Warning: I have never once claimed that my personal brand of crazy is rational.

Today I did something I have been avoiding for my entire adult life. I took myself to eat, alone, at Olive Garden. Now, I know that sounds silly and it’s just Olive Garden, but for some reason the idea of doing this very thing has been scary and caused my tons of anxiety just thinking about it. I’ve tried to figure out why. And the most logical thing that I can come up with is that for some reason, the idea of taking myself out to eat at a sit down restaurant, pretty much solidified my perpetual singlehood. Again. Not logical. I don’t think this for other people when I see them out to eat alone or my friends when they do it. I actually envy them. But for me, somehow, taking myself out to eat at a fancy restaurant (lol yes Olive Garden is still fancy to me) just somehow meant I had officially accepted my singleness and was the first step to many a single restaurant date. If you are judging me right now please go read the warning again.

So, I went to Olive Garden…and I didn’t die. I don’t know yet if I really enjoyed it but I’m sure I’ll do it again. As I sat there, I thought that the couple on the other side of the room would be what made me most sad but I didn’t really pay them much mind. What did make me a little nostalgic was the table full of old ladies next to me gushing over their one friend’s new hair cut. It reminded me of my friends. It reminded me of Leanna and I’s many cathartic lunch dates at Olive Garden. It made me miss my friends more than it made me yearn for a partner to go to eat with. Though that would still be great.

Prior to all of this I started thinking up a list of potential date ideas. As a single 30 year old woman, I can count of both hands and maybe require the assistance of one set of toes, the number of dates I’ve been on. If I don’t count random meetings at Walmart or parking lots, then I don’t need the toes. So needless to say I’ve had quite some time to think up some really awesome date ideas. Or at least I think they’re awesome.

So here goes:

Dinner and a movie! Duh. The classics are a must. I’m not picky at all. Feed me and take me to a movie and I’m a happy lady. A few variations… movie and then dinner!! Lol just kidding. But there are those fancy theaters uptown where you can eat real food at the movies. Or a double feature where each person picks a movie. Or show up at the movies at a random time and watch the next thing showing.

Book store date. I love reading. If you can suggest a good book you’ll have a piece of my heart. So we go to the bookstore. You pick out a book for me. I pick out one for you. Then we find a nice cozy spot somewhere around town to read. Or we get the same book and read and discuss. This I semi did once but the guy was cheap and ordered his book online and before it arrived we had stopped talking. I still read the book. It was great.

Netflix binge. This is maybe after we’ve been dating for a while. But a good Netflix binge is always nice on a rainy day. And depending on how long we’ve been dating and how serious it is it can totally be an official Netflix and Chill.

A museum. I hear Charlotte has tons of museums. I’ve only ever been to the Museum of the New South. That was once in middle school and twice in high school for prom. So those two don’t count. So let’s go see some cool museum stuff!

Trampoline park. Disclaimer. I like these places but am super out of shape so I can only bounce for like 5 minutes at a time.

Charlotte is always having some sort of festival. Let’s go! Bonus points if it’s a festival about something neither of us knows anything about (or the renaissance festival).

Anywhere but Charlotte! Again, maybe for later on after I’m certain you aren’t a serial killer. But road trips are cool. And it can totally be a random day trip just to try some fancy ice cream in a random town. Let’s just go!

One of those paint classes. Or that pottery painting place. Arts and crafts are fun even if you suck at them. The paint class doesn’t even have to be a couples one because what are we each going to do with half a painting. And if we go at night we can bring wine! Same for this pottery painting place I know of.

Clearly this is not an exhaustive list. There are a million other things that could be done. The most important part is who you’re with and the time spent together. Which has me thinking? Why am I waiting around for someone else to take me on a date and to do these things. Like I said. The most important part is who you’re with, that can be a partner, friends, family or yourself and the time spent together. As long as your having fun and getting to know whoever you are with…IT’S A DATE!!!

So, what are your favorite date ideas?!?!

Update:

I forgot

A comedy show. Doesn’t have to be Katt Williams (but if it was that would be awesome) even a local amateur night could be fun.

A concert. Someone huge or someone just up and coming. There’s always a concert going on. Fun story. A guy once stopped talking to me because I told him that if we went to the Drake concert I would be excited but wouldn’t be like screaming with my hands in the air the whole time. He said that if I wasn’t going to have fun then he wasn’t taking me. He struggled to understand everyone doesn’t show they are having fun the same way. I’ve dated some gems really.

Pictures that make me happy

I like to think I’m sort of a photographer when I’m out and about in places I’ve never explored before.  I sometimes even look like a tourist in my own city.  Constantly pulling my phone out to take pictures of the Charlotte Skyline, or something that I think is just “neat”.

I used to didn’t really care about taking pictures with my phone.  I was definitely all about living in the moment and just enjoying it for what it was.  But having a camera allows us to relive these moments over and over.  The pictures I take with my Google Pixel has captured most, if not all, of my happiest moments in life.  Looking back at each photo, each tells it’s own story and it reminds me of good times when times aren’t necessarily so good.

I’m by no means a professional, at all and I would love to own a DSLR camera one of these days to see what I can really do.  Maybe there will be an opportunity in the future for me to buy one.  Who knows? And if I do ever get one, maybe I’ll find more things to take pics of.

I’d like to share with you all some of my favorite pics.  All of these pics are my own, and I should probably watermark them before posting here, but ah hell, who cares.

 

 

If you like these pics, I have more on IG @eM_Daht. Beware, there are a lot of selfies!

 

153 Reasons Why I Am Probably Undateable

First of all, please be very clear, this is not 153 reasons why I hate myself, or even 153 reasons why I 100% with a shadow of a doubt believe I am undateable. These are 153 reasons why, because of something someone else has said and done, I have been informed that I am undateable. Well maybe a few of them are things I think have kept me from convincing someone else of how awesome I am to the point that they want to spend a significant amount of their time with me. But who knows. I’ve actually quite enjoyed making this list over the last few days because it’s given me a chance to reflect on different aspects of myself and decide 1. Is it honestly something that would keep me from dating someone else and 2. If it something I want to change. And honestly. The answer to both of those questions is almost always no.

So, in no particular order, for your reading pleasure, 153 reasons why no one has wifed this, put a ring on it or chosen to shoot their shot and stick around for the championship game!

1. I’m not perfect. You will ask me to stop doing something. I will try my hardest and it will still happen. Not because I forgot it, wasn’t listening or didn’t care. I’m just not perfect and change takes time.

2. If we argue, I will cry. Especially if I’m mad, sad or hurt. You may not be able to tell the difference.

3. I have to wear my hair in three braids under a cap a night if I want it to look right in the morning.

4. I have this thing on my left big toe. Don’t know what it is. It’s been there my whole life. Sometimes I cut it with a fingernail clipper but it just grows back. It’s kind of like a wart but it’s not a wart.

5. Speaking of feet. I hate them. I won’t touch yours.

6. Still feet related. Mine aren’t perfect. There’s dry skin and sometimes rough heels. But I’ve been told they are pretty.

7. My nail polish is chipped 95% if the time

8. I smell like coconut. Only an issue if you don’t like the smell of coconuts

9. If we argue, I will talk to my friends, my mom, and my sister about the argument.

10. If we do something cute or fun I will talk to them too. They will know about you and us.

11. I still live with my parents.

12. I’m kind of bad with money. Terrible at saving it. Have never had to pay rent. Have worked since I was 17. Do not have a large savings.

13. I have a daughter. She’s awesome but probably won’t be easy for you to win over. When I talk about her I often refer to her as “my child.” Kind of self explanatory but may be a problem.

14. I’m not a Virgin.

15. I have been with 10 men. Accurate count at the time of this being posted. Can’t say if that’s true based on when you read this.

16. Sometimes when I sleep I do this weird hum thing.

17. Sometimes I snore.

18. Sometimes when I sleep I breathe heavy

19. My thighs are pretty much fused together. A thigh gap is non existent. I’m like a mermaid

20. I hate the gym

21. I’m not a neat freak. I don’t think I’m a slob but my mom would probably argue that (she is a neat freak)

22. I will plan our wedding within a few days of meeting you if I find you remotely interesting.

23. My already planned wedding has hints of Harry Potter in it.

24. I have a fairly intense fascination with Harry Potter. I have a tattoo. Several jewelry items, multiple shirts, wands, underwear, tights, a blanket, the books, some of the movies, purses, wallets and other stuff I’m probably forgetting

25. I’m not a big sports fan. I’m not even a little sports fan

26. I may be able to cook and grill better than you

27. I may be smarter than you

28. I may have more degrees then you

29. I have a tendency to remember random seemingly pointless bits of information and conversations and bring them up later. This is only an issue in arguments and typically then only when I’ve forgotten something important and you’ll use it to make your point about me being terrible.

30. I like the idea of Valentine’s Day

31. My birthday is close to Christmas.

32. I enjoy reading for pleasure. And reading nonsense that won’t teach me anything

33. I blog

34. I will write about you in my blog. Especially if it doesn’t work out or you make me really mad

35. I won’t send you nudes

36. My body is not perfect. My arms jiggle. My stomach is not flat. It’s the opposite. And it’s wrinkly. And hangs over if not constrained by some spanx like apparatus.

(I wish it looked that flawless!)

37. If I don’t wear some sort of spanx type apparatus when in dresses or skirts, my thighs chafe to the point of bruising

38. I bathe ALMOST every day. Sometimes I skip a Saturday.

39. My job can be stressful

40. I will listen intently and respond and you will think I’m counseling you

41. If I offer advice you will think I’m counseling you

42. If I stay silent you will think I’m counseling you

43. I’m bad at grammar

44. I don’t know when to use commas appropriately

45. I’m terrible at math

46. I don’t make my bed

47. I want more children. 4 total is the number that comes to mind when I consider it.

48. When I wash my hair, the amount of hair the comes off my head could provide coats for a large family of naked mole rats.

49. I’m a terrible dancer if not slightly intoxicated.

50. I will not randomly burst out in song and/or dance in public. I will appear uncomfortable in you do. I’ll probably start walking away just because it’s awkward to stand there while someone is dancing. But I couldn’t care less if you do it.

51. It will take me a while to feel comfortable enough to sing or dance around you

52. It will take me a while to feel fully safe and comfortable around you. Any amount of judgement on your part will seriously prolong the process.

53. I enjoy a good margarita, tequila shot, or glass of champagne.

54. My friends and I get together for margaritas and a movie on a semi regular basis.

55. My best friend and I plan to travel internationally once a year for the rest of our lives.

56. I pick my nose

57. Sometimes I get sick and would like to be taken care of

58. I like a good amount of cuddling but can’t sleep up under anyone.

59. If you snore I will contemplate all the ways I could kill you in your sleep sleep.

60. If I don’t already know you I will assume you are a serial killer or just trying to sleep with me until you prove otherwise.

61. I’m not the best driver

62. Sometimes I find myself seriously attracted to women

(I would seriously consider leaving you for Ruby Rose)

63. I am a LGBTQ Ali for sure

64. I’m pretty feminist

65. I’m learning more and more that I can be pro-Black and mixed

66. I still Love most white people

67. I cuss

68. I pray

69. I believe in Jesus

70. I don’t know if I fully believe in the Jesus that religion has presented to me

71. I question things, including people

72. Submission is in my vocabulary but not a easy word to follow

73. I will try really hard to fix things that you point out as being wrong with me to the point of becoming miserable with myself and you will be able to tell and get mad at me therefor perpetuating the cycle

74. I do a lot of introspection and sometimes that can be unhealthy

75. I don’t really know if I believe in karma

76. I eat pork and beef

77. Carbs are life

78. I can’t run

79. I don’t breathe when I talk so it always seems like I’m out of breath

80. I blink really hard to the point that people ask if I have turrets and I sometimes wonder if I do

81. I can’t answer the question “where are you from” with an actual place

82. If we do have kids I will have a difficult time adjusting to coparenting as I have not had to do that thus far

83. I can be petty. Feel free to ask what my most petty moment in life has been. It’s pretty intense.

84. I’ve had some pretty painful past relationships. Those experiences do influence the way I approach the dating world now. As do my good experiences with people. If you think that it is possible to approach dating with a clean slate each time, I would really appreciate if you taught me how to perform that magic trick. As this is not just a fact for dating but life in general.

85. I plan to start confronting people on their bullshit more. You may be the first.

86. Sometimes I like to be alone but I like to still be checked on.

87. I have what I think are pretty reasonable standards but have been informed might be in actuality way too high.

88. I expect you to respect me

89. I expect you to be faithful

90. I expect you to be considerate

91. I expect you to be kind

92. I expect you not to be a hoe

93. I expect you not to have me out here looking stupid

94. I expect you to keep your word

95. I expect you to take me out

96. I expect you to tell the truth

97. I expect you to be mindful of my feelings

98. I expect you to treat me like a woman

99. I expect you not to hit me

100. I expect you to be able to hold an adult conversation in person that does not include yelling or cussing at me

101. I expect you to obey the law

102. I expect you to drink responsible if you choose to do so

103. I expect you to try to understand me and not assume you know me

104. I expect you to mess up

105. I expect you to say sorry

106. I have never been in a fight and don’t plant to start now

107. I really like Cardi B. I tried to deny it but I can’t.

108. I have a love of really bad rap music

109. I don’t follow or understand most pop culture related things

110. I don’t get most black 90’s culture related things

111. I hate coffee

112. I hate hey stranger texts

113. I have tattoos. Some of them reference past relationships

114. I have a tattoo of a maple leaf that matches my sister’s tattoo. I got it on my first date with my ex

115. Sometimes I obsess over things

116. I enjoy trying new things but have serious anxiety surrounding being embarrassed and failing.

117. I struggle with change

118. I need pretty consistent attention

119. If Obama could eat dinner with his family most nights of the week when he was president. I expect that you can send a text message consistently and set aside some time weekly.

120. I’m fairly easily pleased

121. I like creativity

122. I like simple things

123. I’m an introvert

124. You have an idea in your head if who I am. I promise you that’s not me.

125. I won’t fight for you. Literally. I will not fight another person for you. And figuratively. If you choose to walk away I will not chase after you. I will fight like hell while you are here. But the second you choose to leave I will willingly and quietly let you go.

126. I’ve decided to stop begging people to want to spend time with me or be with me.

127. I have a couple really great male friends who aren’t going anywhere.

128. I will be suspicious of your female friends if they are single and you spend more time with them than me.

129. I have some trust issues.

130. I’m not aware of all of my issues and flaws.

131. I enjoy country music

132. I’m hairy. I have an ex who would jokingly make the Chewbacca sound to discuss how hairy I am. I’m not that bad. But a few years back I participated in no shave November and it changed my life. I shave my armpits if I’m going to have a tank top on and be raising my arms. I shave my legs for special occasions. And if your expecting a pre-pubescent vaginal area…well I will question your life choices.

133. I’m tall

134. I like to take hot baths and read. No you can’t join. First of all, if we both can fit in a standard size tub you are probably like 4ft even and 95 lbs.

135. I appreciate tall men. This is my one super vain hope in a partner. But even it is negotiable.

136. I’ve been told I am intimidating

137. I suffer from resting bitch face

138. I can have some pretty impressive PMS moments

139. Sometimes I engage in tit for tat

140. My sense of humor takes some adjusting to.

141. I can joke with a straight face.

142. Sometimes I feel like I’m laughing and obviously joking but apparently I’m not because people still think I’m serious or mad

143. I don’t like to argue

144. Sometimes I overshare on social media

145. My mind does not think in terms of song lyrics. I will never respond with drop top if you say raindrop.

146. I ask for too much

147. I don’t ask enough questions

148. I can’t sleep with the tv on

149. You will have a very small window of opportunity to convince me to come back after an argument or you walking away (see #125). If you choose not to use it because you want to teach me a lesson and then pop up several days later, then I have already been given several empowering pep talks by my friends, coworkers and mother. You will not get the response you want. You will probably be confused. I will probably only feel bad for a few moments. But I will remember that I am the shit and you shouldn’t have had to lose me to figure that out. The length of the window of opportunity is directly proportional to the number of fuckboys, narcissist or failed attempts at relationships I have encountered before you. The more of those you’re fighting against, the less time you have.

150. Sometimes my eyebrows are not on fleek. See # 132

151. I have a past. A life before you. It’s not perfect. It’s not the worst. But it’s mine and I won’t be made to feel bad about it.

152. I really enjoy going to the movies. It’s my happy place.

153. I have this thing where I like to walk with people on my right side if no one is on both sides of me. I will move to make this possible if need be. You will notice. It’s a balance thing and slightly related to my hatred of odd numbers.

If you made it this far…THANK YOU…you are my favorite type of person.

I think my plan is to just share the link to this post with anyone who shows interest in me and be like “here. Read this. Then let me know if you still want these problems.”

Justin Timberlake is releasing a new Album and my life instantly got better

So on Tuesday, Jan. 2, 2018.  In the midst of really feeling crappy because sometimes life just gets you down, I come across a friend’s Facebook post.  It was shared from Justin Timberlake’s fan page and I’m sitting here like…

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And I see something about “coming soon”… Feb 2?!?!?

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AND THIS WEEK HE’S DROPPING A SINGLE?

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I can’t!

When I heard the news, there was only one thing that I could do to celebrate.  I immediately put all three of his album’s in the queue on Spotify.  He’s back after like 5 years of hiding somewhere out in Hollywood doing some lame acting shit, I’m sure. JK JK. But Forreal though. It’s been 5 years JT….FIVE YEARS!

Justin…

Timberlake…

Mr. Sexyback!

Why did you do this to me?!?!?

I have to wait 3 more days for this!

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FILTHY?!?!

FILTHY?!?!?!

JT…Come on Bruh.  Why you gotta do this to me? Now I’m sitting here about to piss my pants because you want to tease new music and make the world wait a week to hear it?!?!  I swear if this song isn’t tight, I might have a mental breakdown.  And then I find out you have Timbo AND Danja co-writing this?!?!?!

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I can’t wait to hear what he’s back with!  (Please excuse me but JT is the Beyonce to my Beyhive…the Taylor Swift to my Swifties, etc.)  This man is a musical genius and if you aren’t on the hype train, CHOO CHOO Mother fuckers lets go for a ride! JT has been putting out nothing but fire since 02 with his debut album Justified.  And we all knew he was going to be a force to be reckoned with.

Creative doesn’t even begin to explain the genius of this man’s talent.  His sound constantly evolves. He’s not afraid to venture out and show people music that they’ve never heard before.  This guy, as popular as he is, is VASTLY underrated.  And it’s not that he’s underrated due to fact that people don’t know his music, because people do. But he’s underrated due to the fact that most people only know his singles.  His Catalog of music is just bonkers.

Let me break it down for you…

Justified, his debut showed that he was going to be a star. With the help of Pharrell and Timbaland by his side, he had all the tools there to help launch into stardom.  JT played it safe with this album, which for a debut is smart.  He stuck to his Pop roots and just really murdered EVERY. SINGLE. TRACK. on that album.  My favorite from this project will probably always be “Last Night”.  Classic Neptunes sound bring together Justin Timberlake’s melodies and slight harmonies perfectly.  And lets not forget Pharrell’s adlibs that just pull everything together.

Then FutureSex/LoveSounds comes around.  And at first when you first heard this track you were probably thinking “What in the hell is this?” (I know I did). Then over a few days you probably heard the track about a million times on the radio.  “I’m bringing Sexyback (YEAH)”, JT dropped that Pop club banger on your heads that you just couldn’t get away from. FS/LS was exactly what its namesake said. Just sexyness from the front of the album to the back, and with Timbaland producing most of the album, you already knew it was going to have future flare to it. There’s still no producer better than him in the game and probably won’t be until he’s hung up the cape.

Then mother fucking 20/20 Experience.  This one went over a LOT of peoples head.  This album was on some grown and sexy shit. Unlike “FS/LS” where the sexy factor was there, but the grown factor was slightly lacking.  It had the “fun” vibe to it.  But with “20/20” you can tell that JT had grown into this beast of a performer and songwriter.  Most of the songs had a deeper vibe, showing his growth over time and part of the reason I’m looking forward to his new album.

Man of the Woods is supposed to be about his family life and I don’t even know if I’m ready for that JT yet.  But just speculating off of the name, I think the first single is going to show us some of that “old” JT before he slaps us with that family man stuff.

All I need now is for him to announce a tour after his Super Bowl performance and I might just die a happy man this year.

I don’t think my body can handle it…

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“New Year, BETTER Me”

I’m such a hater of the phrase “New Year, New Me”.

This mantra invades our Facebook posts, and Twitter feeds and it’s always a show of how possibly someone’s life was so bad, that they get to press the “reset” button at the end of one year and beginning of another. As if you’re able to just do a 360 twirl and start brand new.  As if the problems from the year prior can no longer penetrate your environment.  As if everything in your past life led you to this moment.

Yes, striving to be better is great.

But don’t forget where you’ve come from.  Why does the new year have to bring a new you?  Why can’t we strive to be a BETTER us?  Every moment in life is a teachable moment.  And yes, life is not perfect, but that’s the beauty of it.  We learn from the imperfections of life and build upon those experiences.

Those who do not know history are bound to repeat it.

This is not only true in social, political, and historical context, but also in personal context as well.  Give yourself hope, that where you are currently, is no longer where you were.  You are enough.  There’s no reason to undo who you’ve been this year, just to most likely repeat these actions in the upcoming year.  Striving to be better is one thing, but pressing the reset button completely is another.

And if you seem to think that maybe life is bad enough where you need to press the reset button.  I hope that you find your base platform from which you need to build from.  But at the end of this year, I hope that you aren’t posting “New Year, New Me” but “New Year, Better Me”.