You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat it Too

So at first glance that statement is often confusing to me. Why not? It’s my cake! I should be able to eat it! A quick Wikipedia search though clarified it more for me and it makes sense. In essence you can’t have/retain/keep your cake but at the same time eat it because then it will be gone. You can’t do both. Either you want to look at the cake, have it in a dish for all to admire but never actually experience it. Or you want to devour it, consume it and have it be a part of you forever. An extra inch on your waist or dimple in your thigh. However, you just can’t do both.

Anyone else want cake now?

So, prior to my search for clarification, I came up with a better metaphor that fits what I want to say. And yes, this post is about relationships (or lack there of) because what else do I have to write about.

So, I fancy myself a semi-decent amateur baker. I always say whenever I get fully burnt out from counseling and quit a job in a fit of rage and decide to do something different with my life, I’ll open up a quaint little bakery called “Anything but Coffee” where I’ll just wake up every day, bake whatever I feel like it, so you could essentially get anything…but coffee because coffee is gross.

(One time I made peanut butter chocolate spread for a co-worker and the dream started)

So, while you definitely can’t have your cake and eat it too you know what else you can’t do? Expect to constantly get cake without contributing to the process! Baking is expensive! Eggs, flour, milk, good vanilla, spices, pans, electricity. That shits not cheap! And it takes time. I spent three evenings this week baking until 11 or 12 at night as a way to say thank you to my co-workers as I was leaving the job. I did it because I wanted to. And my payment back was the many thank you’s, some jokes of it not tasting good, the euphoric faces as people tasted it and apparently almost sending someone to the hospital over some double chocolate brownies. When I bake out of love there’s not enough money in the world someone can pay me to do it.

But we aren’t talking about actually baking! We’re talking about relationships.

I’ve learned a few things about myself over the last year.

1. Had I learned these things a long time ago life may have been easier in the relationship or lack there of department

2. I can’t beat myself for not learning it sooner

3. Change is hard

4. When I love, I love hard. Whole heartedly, unashamed, no questions. I’m just like a fountain over flowing with love for this other person.

Things I’ve learned about other people

1. Most people find that very overwhelming and if it’s not what they are looking for they will run for the hills every time.

Back to me:

5. I do this when I just like someone too.

I have sat around thinking for countless hours, why it is that I can go from not knowing someone to head over heels crushing on them with little to no information about them. “Oh you’re paying me some attention…awesome” and my brain automatically starts planning out insane details about the time we will spend together.

I wish I knew who or what to blame. My dads always been there for me so I can’t blame not having a male role model in my life. Sometimes I want to blame Disney movies but even those stupid princesses put up a fight. But here I am, not so patiently waiting for someone to show up and want to receive all this love I’m about to spontaneously combust from holding in.

And I don’t think it’s inherently a bad thing. Wanting to love someone unconditionally and completely is not a flaw (though people will make you feel that way and then you will make yourself feel that way). I have realized my trouble comes in that I’m just ready to give it to anyone who shows up. And without fail, they don’t want it an I end up hurt.

But more specific to that here’s what usually happens.

They show up. I get excited. I’m ready to be all in. They can sense this and back out…BUT…they don’t actually back out. They want the option. They somewhere deep down know “one day, this is what I’ll want. Not today. But one day I should and therefore let me see what I can do to keep her around until that day.”

Here is a short incomplete list of ways this typically happens:

Hey stranger text

Just checking in text

Can we still be friends

The Fuckboy Backout (see my fellow bloggers post for reference if you are unaware of what this is)

Let’s just take it day by day

And my personal favorite (insert sarcasm there): begging for a chance to make things right once I finally walk away and they realize what they’ve lost but still having no intention of doing anything different.

So basically, they want the cake, but they have absolutely zero intention of contributing to the cake making process. They appreciate that I show up with a whole damn cake ready for them to devour but have no intention of helping me make another one. Then their like “wait…that was the best cake I’ve ever had. Why isn’t there anymore… you just gonna leave and not give me anymore cake.” Yes. Yes I am because you took what I had and forgot to bring me more groceries to make another!

I can be a limitless supply of cake. And a lot of the ingredients just come naturally. But some have to be contributed. Or maybe I just need an oven to bake it in. Idk. I may need to think the metaphor through some more. But you get the point. And before you even start. Yes. I can be both the baker, the ingredients, the supplies and the oven. How do you think the new cake that the new man gets is made. Self-esteem, self-love and putting the pieces back together after the last idiot ate the cake and ran without paying the bill!

So moving forward, my goal is to not so easily offer up the cake. Pay attention to whose just eating the cake and running away and who is actually trying to invest in the cake making process. Everyone does not deserve my cake.

And if you don’t know already…ask about me…I bake a mean cake (and cookies, and cheesecake).

Hello Fresh and My Experience! (Pics)

So most of you know that I subscribe to Hello Fresh but a lot of people don’t understand why? Mostly because of the price and I get that.  But the number one reason why I subscribe to HF is…well, to be blunt, I’m lazy…as hell!

But for real though, I’m bad at grocery shopping. The following reasons are why (but not limited to):

  • I can’t plan meals for dinner worth a crap
  • Most of the food I buy will sit in the freezer or go bad, because at the time I wanted it, but then my mind changes.
  • I’m lazy. (that part)
  • I’ll usually buy too much food, because I be like #mealPrep
  • I get tired of eating the same thing over and over
    • It’s hard to cook for 1 without having a massive amount of leftover sides
  • I’m lazy

So, instead of buying a weeks worth of grocery that will probably only feed me for about two days and then go to waste, I’ve decided to go with Hello Fresh and see what it’s about. I’ve only had good things to say about it, honestly.

 

Here are my Pros to ordering Hello Fresh

Food Delivert to your doorstep

This is BY FAR the best part of HF because again, I AM LAZY! The hardest part is putting the food in the fridge, and BAM I’m done.  I mean, if the pricing was a little bit better, it would be a no brainer that I would continue to do this.  Which kind of brings me to my second point!

Each meal feeds me twice!

I do the 3 meals for $60 plan.  Which, since I’m single, turns into 6 meals for $60, because each meal serves 2, and I bring the second serving to work for lunch the next day.  However, this does not necessarily save me money, it does ensure that I’m eating “decently” at least for half of the week.

Decently healthy

If I didn’t have Hello Fresh, I’d probably be eating fast food for every meal.  Which I have indeed done and the reason I’ve gained like 20 pounds over the course of the last year. That and no exercising…lol.  HF keeps me eating veggies (which I hate), and keeps me from overeating because I know that the serving size is exactly what I should have instead of cooking too much and force feeding my face.

Bunch of options

Vegetarian? No problem, they offer those options.  Vegan, not so much.  The food is pretty awesome and easy to cook. Considering if you know how to follow directions.

The only Con I can think of is that at the price point, I can’t see it being a long term option.

And this is where the fun part comes in.  Hello Fresh sends you recipe cards for EACH AND EVERY MEAL.  So after you get yourself a little catalog of recipes from them, you can cancel your subscription, and cook your favorite meals over and over again. Only thing is, you give up the convenience of having food sent to your door, but you save money on getting food shipped to you, but then again, you’re bound to pick up extra items if you go to the grocery store (like wine and candy), so I guess it’s kind of a Catch-22.

And yes, I know that you can just look up your own recipes online, but there’s something about cooking it first from HF and then going out and cooking it again yourself and doing it your own little way.

Things that don’t really matter but bother me anyway…

Why all the Garlic?

Also can you all send the Garlic pre-minced?

Don’t send me those little jars of ketchup that requires me to get a paintbrush in order to scoop out…ketchup is a household staple. Add that to the “you should already have this” list.

(Note: Hello Fresh has a list of items that it will never provide in their boxes, such as Oil, butter, salt, pepper, etc. “Everyday items”)
ketchup(Tomato for scale)

Send me something like EVOO….not no damn ketchup.

Why do your recipes require me to use multiple medium sized pans and bowls? I only have 1 of each.

It’s impossible to get into the vacuum sealed proteins…I almost die EACH TIME.

Can you all ship herbs OFF of the stem please? Thank you!

Anywho…

If you have any questions on Hello Fresh, let me know! I’d be glad to share my experiences in more detail if needed!