Pictures that make me happy

I like to think I’m sort of a photographer when I’m out and about in places I’ve never explored before.  I sometimes even look like a tourist in my own city.  Constantly pulling my phone out to take pictures of the Charlotte Skyline, or something that I think is just “neat”.

I used to didn’t really care about taking pictures with my phone.  I was definitely all about living in the moment and just enjoying it for what it was.  But having a camera allows us to relive these moments over and over.  The pictures I take with my Google Pixel has captured most, if not all, of my happiest moments in life.  Looking back at each photo, each tells it’s own story and it reminds me of good times when times aren’t necessarily so good.

I’m by no means a professional, at all and I would love to own a DSLR camera one of these days to see what I can really do.  Maybe there will be an opportunity in the future for me to buy one.  Who knows? And if I do ever get one, maybe I’ll find more things to take pics of.

I’d like to share with you all some of my favorite pics.  All of these pics are my own, and I should probably watermark them before posting here, but ah hell, who cares.

 

 

If you like these pics, I have more on IG @eM_Daht. Beware, there are a lot of selfies!

 

Regret (a story/poem thing)

*Before the poem: it would be really awesome if this blog became a huge sensation and Ellen had us on her show and Oprah came to cohost just so she could interview my friends and I and we traveled the world doing interviews and speaking to crowds and offering inspiration, encouragement and laughter. But until that happens, I am supper thankful for a place to go when at 2:30 am when I can’t sleep, either from excitement about a mini vacation, or from the words you are about to read, and put my thoughts in writing. I’ve never been one for journaling as I didn’t understand the point of writing something no one would read. And while maybe only my fellow bloggers, two friends I’ve guilt tripped into reading, my family, and a handful of people who stumble across the page read it, it’s still helpful. I hope you enjoy my early morning/late night ramblings and those of my friends. And now a story/poem of my current thoughts. Not sure what it’ll end up being so we will find out together.*

I regret few things in life

Because every decision good or bad, right or wrong has played some role in who I am today.

A short list of things I regret:

1. Any time I have made a boy more important than spending time with family and friends.

And not in the like hey I’m getting to know you so I’ll be hanging out with you instead of sitting at home.

But more in the way of, I’m going to wait upstairs by the phone as my Nan lays dying downstairs. Because I’m too afraid to miss a call but I’m also afraid of death.

Other people’s and my own.

As in, spending every weekend not on call out of town for fear of argument to the point where my mother felt like I was divorcing her, I turned away from God and I’m too fearful to know how my daughter felt as words like neglected and forgotten come to mind.

As in best friends, who for a brief moment in time became infrequent acquaintances whom I feared I lost and the relationship that took its place was no where near as beautiful and amazing and important as the one being ignored.

2. Mentioned above. As my precious Nan (my maternal grandmother) lay dying down stairs, I stayed upstairs.

Watching Orange is the New Black on the worlds slowest WiFi

Pretending to work

Waiting for phone calls.

Wanting to spend the moments that I knew would be the last time I saw her, with her, but not knowing how.

People often ask where I’m from and I don’t have an answer.

But if anyone ever asked where I called Home I would quickly respond. Nan’s house.

A constant in an early childhood full of adventure and travel.

“We’re going home this summer” always meant Nan’s house.

Always felt like Home

Always felt safe

Always felt like love

Always had her

Until it didn’t anymore

I regret saying bye, having never fully said hello.

I once did a project on her in grad school but asked my mom all of the questions.

3. My father once encouraged me to spend some time at Grannie’s house and learn to cook like her.

I regret saying no

Fearful of a woman I barely knew

Memories of switches torn from branches meant for my cousins for crimes we both committed.

She was a strong, beautiful, black woman.

As a child, this scared me.

I regret not having any long, deep, intimate conversations with her.

I regret not knowing her story.

I regret, as a child, not wanting the black American girl doll that shared her.

I know I will never enjoy corn bread again.

I fear this recipe is now lost on earth but am certain it is enjoyed daily in heaven by all who are there.

I am not certain of much in life. But if this one thing I know.

God has gone to prepare a place for me. If it were not true he would not have said it.

Whether it be a mansion on streets of gold.

Or a wooden shack in a quiet wood.

In it is a table.

And at that table, maybe once or twice a week,

Nan and Granny meet.

Over a plate of corn bread and scalled buns.

And they look down.

And check in on their not so little mixed granddaughter

Who tonight, sits crying in bed for reasons she doesn’t quite understand

Over regrets, that have too, shaped who she is as a woman.

And they laugh, and they cry, and they facepalm themselves, and they high five, and talk to each other.

And occasional they whisper

“It’ll be okay.”

Application for Diversity

A month ago, my daughter introduced me to a new app as she routinely does. What typically happens is I notice her playing something incessantly and download it to see what it is. I then obsess over it for a few days until I reach some awful level that I can’t beat and I give up. This time, however, has been different.

Sandbox

Quite possibly the best time wasting app I have ever come across. I have yet to figure out how the name relates to the app. It’s a color by number app. That’s it. No levels. No time limits. Only constraint is you have to pay for access to more detailed pictures, which I promptly did to color in order to color this lotus flower.

It also does this awesome time lapse video after you fill it in.

So there are all sorts of pictures you can color. Flowers, cars, cartoons, people, cartoon people in cars holding flowers. Okay maybe not that one but anything is possible.

The other day, however, I noticed something when a picture popped up. I had been coloring in very detailed and beautiful pictures of white women. Pictures like this.

And this

And I just want to throw out this picture of a tiger in here, because it’s awesome

There were also some really cool cartoon white people as well

But after playing for almost a month this was the first person of color that I colored

Do you see the problem?

If you don’t. That’s another post for another time. But for those who already get it let’s proceed. If you don’t, you can still proceed and maybe you’ll catch up.

I really didn’t want to believe this person was black but as I filled her in and the complexion was completed and that awkward butt thing finished I had to acknowledge it. This was their first and only black woman or even person of color all month. Unless you count this guy

And I don’t.

This one came later, but I wasn’t sure if they were black or a seriously tanned version of Gene Simmons

Even these clearly non white characters just looked like white people in costume

This initially started me writing a post in my head about white privilege. White privilege is seeing yourself represented in apps automatically and not having to question why there are no people of color.

But then I decided to try something. I never review apps or leave comments. This time I did. I left a comment for sandbox pointing out the lack of diversity and how it would be nice to see more detailed pictures of people of color and men (white men included). Diversity is an amazing thing.

I honestly didn’t expect much. Maybe a response about how they were working on it. Or no response at all.

But y’all…the most beautiful thing happened.

Every morning I wake up to 5 or 6 new pictures to color. THE VERY NEXT MORNING this is what I saw.

DO Y’ALL SEE THAT?!? Not the astronaut or the gems or the watermelon or that angry knight in the corner. No. Right there. That beautiful, detailed, obviously BLACK woman!!!

I can not describe how full my heart was when I saw that. I immediately got to work coloring her in to see how gorgeous she was. With every shade of brown that I applied my heart grew bigger. I ran to my daughter and her friend and told them what had happened. What I had done.

Yep. I’m taking full responsibility for this one. Maybe they were already working on it. But that’s a huge coincidence. THE NEXT DAY!! I’ve had guys take longer to respond to a text message than it did for this app developer to respond to my suggestion.

And then I got to thinking. Why isn’t it always that easy. That’s all it took. Correcting the issue. They didn’t have to respond. They didn’t have to apologize. All they had to do was correct the issue. No questioning. No trying to convince me I was making things up. No defending why they hadn’t had a diverse selection of skin tones up until this point. No blaming. No finger pointing. No all coloring lives matter crap. Just correction of the problem. Why can’t it always be this easy?

Maybe one day the rest of the world will learn from the Sandbox app and quickly acknowledge and correct racism when it is pointed out. Until then I will keep admiring this beautiful lady I colored in and count this as one itty bitty teeny tiny step to equality.

Here she is!

Here’s her video

And just a few days later I got to color in this possible Cardi B image that I love too

(Or is that Miley?!?)

Ps. My daughter says that if you want some good entertainment read the other reviews to the app.

My Safe Place

There’s this safe place that I have…It’s located in my home; The living room to be exact.

When people think of the term “safe place” it’s usually thought to be a place where someone goes to be isolated. To not be seen.  Somewhere to get away. And yeah, this one is kind of like that, but this safe place, is just a little different. It’s a place where I am technically isolated, but I’ve decided to share it with the world every so often.

Now, there’s only one time a week where I crave this safe place, and that is on Fridays.  Somewhere between 12p and 4p my body starts to shut down to the work week, and becomes pretty much uselss. But somewhere between 4.30p and 6p Eastern time I regain my energy. Driving home, I begin to feel the joy of having two days not worrying about anything. I stop by my favorite beverage store, Frugal MacDoogal down here in South Carolina. Then head home, and once I’m in comfortable clothes, I pour up a glass, Say “OK Google, Play my Dance N Shit Playlist”, hold my hand up as to say “aaaayeee”, and start moving my hips in the most uncoordinated way imaginable.

No one is around, I’m comfortable being by myself, and dancing how I want without the stares of others. Letting the troubles of the week fall by the wayside, and I’m reborn again. Ready for the weekend;  Which may involve hanging out with friends, or could involve not doing a damn thing at all.

At first, I used to just go home and start doing it just to get all of my frustrations out. But over time its become therapeutic.  Then I used to talk about it on Facebook often. Then I started Snapping it on SnapChat. Looking goofy af.  Then I started posting it on my Instagram Story, and it’s just become a thing that people ask me about on a regular basis now.

I haven’t had a solo dance party in a while though. Maybe today will be the day. If so, I invite all of our ATOTC friends to join in with their own dance party.  I actually make specific playlist to dance to and have shared them with you all below, but if you don’t like mine, Spotify, Apple Music, Pandora, whatever tickles your fancy can hold you down. But if you’re interested in mine and you have Spotify, here they are!

(Click the images to be taken to the Spotify Playlist)

DNS  DNSTE  DNS90s

DNSLE  DNSAE

Dance N Sh*t – Consists of just a random hodge podge of up beat songs that tend to get your body moving to the beat.

Twerkable Edition – Is full of the classics like “Back Dat Azz Up”, and “Shake That Monkey”. If you looking to shake your booty, this the playlist for you

90s Edition – Songs we used to hear at all the parties growing up.  The songs that just reminded you of the good times during your childhood

Latinx Edition – This playlist will have you definitely moving your hips. And if you don’t know how to move your hips, just sit there and bounce up and down in your chair

AfroBeat Edition – Some of the hottest songs from the Afrobeat genre that you will most likely want to chill out to, but can also get your shoulders swaying if you don’t watch out.

Happy Listening and Happy Holidays!

Boring (A Poem)

No one knows how to be bored anymore

People are constantly looking for thrill and excitement

In the next adventure, the next drink, the next hit, the next person

No one wants to just…be

Especially if that means being bored

When I was little this was my favorite quote

“I’m bored”

And in true Dad fashion I would hear the response

“Hi bored. I’m James. “

My aunt once told me that I would never gain weight because I couldn’t stay still even when I was bored

I wish I could be that kind of bored again.

When I was younger my sister used to make up the most wonderful games to distract us from our boredom

Can’t touch the floor,

Barbie games that took longer to set up than to actually play,

Walking on clouds,

And her favorite

Mushed bananas. Where she convinced her bored little sister to smother her feet in lotion but some how we always ran out of time the moment the roles were to reverse.

I would quickly become un-bored the moment my mother reminded me there was always something that needed cleaning.

Boredom

No one knows how to be bored anymore

Constantly seeking the next great adventure

The next drink

The next hit

The next person

You bore me, swipe

You’re boring, swipe

Oh you don’t want to go out every weekend and get totally wasted

Boring

Swipe

No one knows how to have boring conversations that lead to tears and catharsis

Me and my friends recently spent hours that felt like seconds at a Mexican restaurant showering each other with love and praise

Lifting each other up

Allowing each other to be vulnerable

Allowing each other to…be

In these moments that passed too quickly I was not bored

My hope however is that the next time either of us feels boring

The next time either of us feel less than

The next time someone tells me I won’t find love sitting at home knitting and being boring

The next time one of us looks in the mirror and doesn’t see the fierce goddess that she truly is and just feels boring

The next time one of us considers that life might not be worth living due to loss, or feelings of less than

The next time one of us is bored

My hope is that we remember this night

That it brings a smile to our face

Tears to our eyes

Hope to our hearts

Joy to our soul

Life can be boring

But I…I am not bored

Artist Spotlight: Pell

 

pell-girasoul-artwork

I feel like I’ve been slacking on the music rec’s for you guys recently and I apologize for that.  So today I’ve decided to do a Spotlight on one of my favorite artists right now, Pell!

Pell is a little known artist hailing from Jackson, MS but originally from New Orleans.  He had to move due to Hurricane Katrina, from my understanding.  One of the best Indie artists I’ve come across, his style and flow reminds me somewhat of B.o.B., but he has his own swag.

With only one full length album under his belt, you’d probably ask how could someone you’ve never heard of can be so talented. Well, that’s just the joy of independent music.  There’s a whole entire world of music out there that youc an explore.  Pell just recently dropped a 6 track EP that lives up to the greatness that was his first album and I can’t wait to hear more from him.  If you want to venture out of mainstream rap, do a quick search and check him out.  Or check out my short playlist on Spotify!

For the Pell of it – Spotify

 

Wednesday Weekly: All About The 90s

WW9WW5Wedweek

 

 

 

 

Today I’m hitting you all with THREE! Not 1, Not 2, but THREE playlists for the Wednesday Weekly! (Mind you, two of the playlists have already been featured, but I got a theme going on here so why not, right? )

Anywho, I have three bangers just waiting to be listened to to get you through your workday. Or maybe you’re not working and you need some good ol “cleaning the house” music.  Or maybe you just want something different to listen to.  Whatever the reason, I got you right here!

Early 90s Hip Hop/R&B (Vol. 9)– Explores some of the most influential artists of the early 90s Hip Hop and R&B scene where a lot of artists seem to get their influence from today!

Late 90s/Early 00s Hip Hop/R&B (Vol. 5) – That nostalgic era of Hip Hop/R&B that we used to jam to in middle/high school

Sounds like the 90s/00s (Vol. 1)  – Newly released songs that are clearly influenced by the many hits of the 90s and early 00s

Enjoy!