Y’all…

I had to block a number today…

Mind you, this was someone I met pre-Tinder Experiment, so I should have expected the crazy from the jump, but being the nice person that I am decided to just keep him around as a friend for the time being. Just in case. You know…

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Well today, that number has been blocked!

Why, you say?  Because apparently me not wanting to reimburse a 10 dollar movie ticket is an ultimate sin.

Ok I’m super exaggerating that.

In short, I agreed to go to the movies with someone, but decided that it was not a good idea to do so.  I’ll explain later. BUT, to be fair, I will say that I did agree to pay him back at first.  I was like fine, whatever. It’s ten dollars.  So I ask what’s his Venmo, Paypal, Cash app, etc. You know, so I could just shoot him over a few dollars, and forget about it.

This dude tells me he doesn’t have any of those apps and that I can send him a check.  Then proceeds to send me his mailing address.

Yall…

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Like seriously…

I can’t make this shit up…

So at that point I’ve made it up in my mind that he’s not getting this ten dollars. Sorry, not sorry (shoutouts to Demi). Also, it’s a movie you invited me to go to and I said sure,  why not.  I did not contact him about going, nor did I force him to buy the tickets.  He actually kept bothering me, asking me about it and I finally said yeah, because I do want to go see “The Last Jedi”, I really do. I know that I’d really enjoy it. So much so that I was going to go back on Saturday to see it again. To add, he specifically stated “I’ll buy the tickets since you got the last ones”.

Let me also add that NOT ONLY did I pay for the movies the last time because he showed up at the theater on RELEASE WEEKEND of Justice League without buying the tickets in advance; I had to buy them on my phone with MY money; AND we had to get a movie for a later time because the one we showed up for was sold out! BUT I ALSO bought THIS BUM’s brunch like a week earlier! Don’t you know Brunch ain’t cheap?!? AND YOU WANT TO BOTHER ME ABOUT A MOTHER F**KING $10 MOVIE TICKET?!?!?!?

Now again, me and this guy are pretty much just friends at this point and maybe I may have led him on, who knows. But I mentioned from the jump this wasn’t a cuffing season trial relationship. I wasn’t looking for anything. Not trying to get serious. Just. Friends. But I felt something brewing and just had to end it and be like “hey man, we can’t hang out like that anymore”. “I feel like there’s a show of feelings and it’s a little one sided (he was catching feels).”

Well, he called me arrogant for assuming that he was catching feelings. Told me that he’s been hanging around with multiple people, getting down and dirty with them and not only just me and etc. (which mind you, ain’t nothing even ever really happened between him and I like that) and I’m sitting here like…

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(Rainbow and all)

Then, since I told him I didn’t want to hang anymore, that’s when he wanted money back for the movie ticket. So that brings you back to the beginning of this post.

I told him to refund it. As long as the movie hasn’t played, you can get a full refund. Apparently he’s not going to do that so….whatever. I don’t know what else to tell him other than to let him be salty over a Large combo at McDonalds…Or two Cook Out Trays…Or a half tank of gas…Or whatever else that costs ten dollars now days.

Either way I didn’t realize I had to block someone over ten dollars.  Maybe I’ll be on Judge Joe Brown one day fighting this. lol

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(Petty to the 10th power)

 

10 surefire ways to ensure I “Swipe Left” on your Tinder profile

I’ve spent a lot of time on Tinder these days and I find myself just being annoyed at things I probably shouldn’t be annoyed at. I mean, I kind of hate people in general,but that’s mostly the general population.  People who I love know I love them.

Don’t get me wrong…

I know I’m not the perfect catch, and I don’t want to be.  I don’t like people having high expectations of me (lol). But there’s this population of people on Tinder that genuinely irks my nerve not because of their face, but what’s in their “about me”.  I kind of feel bad though because half of the people I would swipe right on, fall into this realm because in the past I would just swipe without reading the profile.  Shame on myself!

Anywho, these people are the worst kind of people on Tinder…

1. “All Lives Matter”

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Just…….just don’t. If you don’t understand the meaning behind Black Lives Matter and you’re just saying “All Lives Matter” because you think BLM only means ONLY black lives matter, you are totally missing the point and you are working to invalidate the fact that people of color are being mistreated at the hand of the police and judicial system in general.

Also,  if all lives mattered why the hell does it seem like you don’t care about black lives?

ALSO Also, this kind of sets off my racist radar.

2. “Trump Supporter”

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HOW?!?!? No…seriously, how? How does this even make sense?  Not only is he a dumb, misogynistic asshole of a person, Donald Trump represents a party that definitely has issue with the LGBTQ community. Even if he doesn’t have a problem with LGBTQ people, the fact that both, you and he supports a party that shows constant hate against our community makes me sad.  You’re LGBTQ…come on…

3. “Young Professional”

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You’re damn near 35. Drop the “young”. Half of your colleague workforce is probably younger than yourself.  Also, there are more ways to be vague about what you do on a day to day basis.  I’m starting to have more respect for the “Self-employed” crowd. (That’s a whole other rant there) Actually…

4. People who put “Self-employed” on their profile but don’t explain what that really means.

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For all I know, you’re a drug dealer and I don’t have time for this.  Or you’re unemployed and just don’t want to seem like a failure.  Or you’re just now on a new venture and quit your job of 20 years because you got tired of it, but don’t really have a business plan of where you’re going.  How hard is it to say “Owner of _______”.  That will get a Right Swipe in a heartbeat if it sounds reasonable.

5. Any phrase describing how “masc” you are and how you only like “masc” guys.

Nobody needs your self-hating, divisive attitude around here.  We all have preferences, but don’t be out here judging a book by it’s cover.

6. Pictures of everything but your face.

I mean…obviously

7. Any hint at the fact that you THOROUGHLY enjoy the gym more than eating (Loving them equally is OK though).

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I know gym heads like to eat, but for the type that likes to eat chicken. Bland chicken. For every meal. The same way. Every day. For ever and ever. AMEN. Gots ta go.

I have nothing against the gym-heads though.  I used to be addicted to the gym, but I just have a problem when people start to judge me for not going.  Yes, I know I could probably use it, but let me “live my best life” ok?.

8. “I don’t like filling these out” or “I never know what to say here”

AKA, I’m boring.

Honestly, this wasn’t a problem before I started “The Tinder Experiment” but adding this to my rules actually helped me avoid a bunch of fuckboys. ESPECIALLY if you have 5 photos and your Instagram linked and all of your Spotify songs selected. Just saying.  No “About Me” basically means that you don’t know what you’re looking for or you’re just too lazy to fill it out. Which again, confuses me if you fall into the category of having EVERYTHING linked to your profile.  It’s just bad.

If you’re just trying to hook up, say it.  If you’re bored, say it. If you don’t know what you’re doing here, say it.  A blank profile means nothing and as a result, will get nothing in return.  There’s plenty of pretty faces out there on Tinder that would love to share a bit about themselves.

9. Having an obviously fake name, or some ridiculous nickname on your profile

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If I can’t at least find you on Facebook with your “name”, it’s going to be a no from me.

 

10. All of your profile pics are group pics of you and your friends and family

I’m just going to think you’re the ugliest one in the pic. Plain and simple. And then you have the nerve to link your instagram, and your IG profile pic is some nature scene, and all of your pics are group pics in there as well.  Obviously I could go through the process of elimination and eventually narrow you down, but who wants to do all that work.

If you’re ugly, work that shit. Be ugly confident!
/Rant

 

What are some things that will certainly earn a “Left Swipe” for you?

The Tinder Experiment (update)

It’s been about 4 days since the start of this experiment and I will be totally honest;

THIS IS A BAD IDEA

The original rules were too restricting and just made me want to swipe more, unmatch unnecessarily, and just freak out in general when I wouldn’t get a response when I felt like I should have.  So, there have been some changes made to the rules.

For those who can’t remember or just don’t know, here are the rules (updated rules in bold):

  1. Only have a conversation with 3 people at a time. 
    • If I am having genuine conversation with all 3, I can not swipe any more to attempt to match with additional people. 
  2. Being that people don’t always auto-match with whomever you swipe right on, I’m giving myself up to 5 right swipes in a 24 hour period. (I will be working on the Honor System lol).
    • The 5 right swipe rule may cause some problems being that if I swipe right 5 times and they all end up coming back as matches.  If this ever happens, at that time I must make a decision on who I want to focus on and unmatch the other people.
    • However, if one of the 5 matches messages me first, I must respond to them.  I can still keep the other matches in my queue at that point, but I must make a decision on if I will pursue further within a day.
  3. I cannot swipe right on someone with no details in their “About Me”.
  4. I’m able to swipe right on individuals who have just one sentence in their “About Me”, but it has to catch my eye and not be some boring ass shit.
  5. If there’s any doubt on the person I’m looking at, I HAVE TO Swipe Left on them.  It could be the sexiest person in the world; If there’s doubt, swipe left. (Reason being is because that doubt will cause me to continue swiping, sequentially breaking my first rule. Especially if I run out of right swipes for the day).
  6. If I match with someone, send a message, and no communication is made within 24 hours, I am free to unmatch, and continue to swipe right and start another conversation.
  7. Once there has been three consecutive days of no contact even after having genuine conversation, I MUST unmatch to keep things tidy and avoid conversing with multiple people at the same time.
  8. I can unmatch at any time.
  9. Messaging someone multiple times to get their attention is not allowed. If you have responded already, you have to wait. They must respond on their own free will.

Current issues I’ve run into

Anxiety from waiting to see if the person responds. Especially if they take a super long time. This is why the change was made to rule 1.

People who are clearly just “looking for friends” (normal or fwb). Am I auto left swiping these guys or nah? (I still haven’t made a decision on this. I may swipe right now since I’m giving myself 3 conversations now)

Accidental right swipes. (Do they count?)

Unmatching just for the sake of moving on so you can get to other matches quicker; Which sort of circumvents the process here, but also allows you to talk to someone that genuinely wants to talk to you rather than people who use Tinder as a time passer.

Unmatching seems like you’re doing a bad deed. Its very hard, especially if the person seems nice.

Pet peeves

(you know, since I’m actually paying attention to profiles now)

EVERYONE’S a young professional. 🙄 Jesus, use a better phrase to describe yourself.
(Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being a young professional, but at this point just tell me what you do if you want people to know you have a decent job) 

A lot of people love to hike or work out.
(This is no longer an indicator of if I’m attracted to you or not)

Nobody really knows what they want
(Even myself)

A lot of people seem to thing that filling out the “About Me” is trivial…

I think I’m expecting too much. Lol

 

All in all…

I think I’ve matched with about 6 people since starting this. 1 unmatched me (probably an accidental swipe right, lol). I unmatched 1 (due to the 24 hour no response rule), and another 1 I unmatched even after having ok conversation with, but I felt like he was just bored (maybe that one was a mistake).

The other three, well, I’m talking to them.  Nothing exciting to report though.  I’m working on weaning myself off of the application due to the fact that I don’t want it to start controlling my life.  I have a lot of free time so it’s easy to get consumed into it.


Be sure to follow the craziness or lack of…who knows. All of my posts will be categorized under The Tinder Experiment so you should be able to follow each post there and keep up with if this is a major success or a total failure.