What we’re not going to do in 2018-err, 2019 is…

So, my blogmates and I actually wrote this post almost a year ago but never submitted it, for whatever reason. Well, I (Malcolm) am going behind the backs of my blogmates and posting this now because some self-reflection and motivation will always be welcomed in life. Please don’t hate me! lol

We are venturing on four months into 2018 one month in 2019 and we all know that time flies when you’re having fun, spending time with friends, getting new jobs, traveling, eating good, dancing, and generally attempting to live your best life. The beginning of the year is always a fitting time to do a little self reflection and see how we are doing with our journeys of self-love, exploration, happiness, dating, work, life and generally all things involved in being a boss!

In our self-reflection in our group chat we recently found ourselves commenting on all the things we are NOT going to do because it’s 2018 2019. We have all reached and survived the dreaded 30 and we have all experienced some serious self improvement and growth over the past few months since we’ve had this blog (and long before it existed as well). So here goes…our list of all the shit we are not going to do or put up with in 2018 2019 (or any other year). If it’s not already clear, this is another collaborative post!

1. Men who don’t appreciate my worth the first time around. No going back to exes who realized they wanted that old thing back and how awesome I was, after they walked away. Bye Felicia! – AP

2. Deal with people who don’t understand that Black Lives Matter! – M

3. Fuckboys – M

4. People who make everything about themselves. I’m talking about something I’m excited about and you turn it into something about you. You’re getting called out. – AP

5. Unsolicited dating advice (see previous post)- AP

6. Greeks who are more interested in partying and dealing with pledges than actually attempting to give back to their community. -M

7. Faking orgasms. I have zero time for dealing with terrible sex so that I don’t hurt someone else’s feelings. -AP

8. People who aren’t interested in me romantically when I clearly want romance. -M

9. Compare skin tones with tanned, non-melanated individuals in society. -M

10. Dates that aren’t dates, but minimum effort disguised as booty calls. LR

11. Getting stood up on dates. LR

12. Dry skin and an useless or non existent skin care regimen. LR

13. Jobs that don’t challenge us to be the best versions of ourselves and don’t fulfill our calling and value statements. I need a job that I’m excited to go and fulfill my purpose. LR

14. Bad wigs or weaves. Too old not to look fly like a G6. Frontals and You Tube videos have come too far for that mess. LR

15. Allowing anyone to withdraw/overdraw from our emotional bank accounts without equally depositing back into it. I will be closing all of your lines of credit, bank accounts, and turning down unworthy applications – friends, family, associates, and co-workers, you have been warned. LR

16. Bad wine. I will send it back to the waiter and pour out the bottle. Too many low cost, delicious options for that, plus I get drunk way too fast these days to not enjoy my drinks. This goes for cheap liquor too. No headache or hangover country here. LR

17. People’s opinions of my life choices or being. Don’t like how often I move? Then don’t move. Don’t like my body? Cover your eyes. Don’t like my hair. Don’t wear your hair like mine. Don’t like my choices around religion, lifestyle, children etc.? Don’t try to be me. I really have zero time for that. LR

18. Mediocre and unloving sex. Goes hand in hand with Ashley’s orgasm thing. Life is far too short for bad sex with people I don’t care about. I am looking for the real stuff. LR

19. Putting myself down and not seeing and actively shining the glory of the light that is myself. I cannot fulfill my purpose, be happy, and get what I deserve if I don’t acknowledge that I deserve and am worthy of those things. And as in a past post, I am quite tired of being emotionally abusive towards myself.

20. Being labeled as an angry Black woman because uncomfortable truths make you well, uncomfortable and defensive. Also, being quiet and docile as to not make you uncomfortable. (A moment of silence for Auntie Maxine always coming through with the truth). LR

21. Settle for anything less than what I deserve. I am not here to be under or taken advantage of. -M

22. Let people guilt me into spending quality time with them. If I’m being anti social, let me be. I’ll catch up with you at some point. -M

23. Relationships that don’t allow me to be my genuine and authentic self. If I have to change or pretend to keep you happy. It ain’t happening. Whether that’s friends, romantic interests or otherwise. -AP

24. People who don’t let me know their true intentions from the jump. In any aspect. -M

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25. Body shaming.

26. Racism.

27. Sexism.

28. Misogyny.

29. Homophobia.

30. Transphobia.

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31. Allow what I perceive of myself as flaws determine my mood and affect the greatness that is me. -M

32. Listen to privileged members of society talk about how much they aren’t privileged. -M

As stated before, it’s 2019 and we don’t have time. What are some of the things that you all don’t have time for for the year. Feel free to share!

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Author: ashtay111

29 and 9 months, the exact age I became to old for this shit. I love Jesus but I cuss a lot. Mother, daughter, friend, counselor, drama queen, former INFJ trying to to get used to life as an INFP, terrible at grammar and spelling, occasionally creative, writer, baker, free-spirited soul just trying to figure it all out like the rest of the world.

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