The Fuckboy Back-Out: When someone declares that they are not “looking for anything serious” but then proceeds to have a somewhat intimate and sometimes exclusive type of relationship with another party. Only to declare that they weren’t looking for anything serious to begin with once feelings become involved.
I’ve been guilty of doing the fuckboy back-out. Maybe not in the case of the exact description above, but I have done it. I’ve had some sort of connection with someone, but then realized that it was something I didn’t want to be in, so I decided to end things. Details are unimportant at this time however, anyway you put it, I’m guilty. I don’t feel great about it and I’ve even apologized about it. I know that I have fuckboy tendencies. My blogger friends here at ATOTC remind me about it all the time. I’ve learned from my past and hope to never be a fuckboy of this caliber ever again.
I still have some things to work on. lol
But with that said…
Stop playing with my fucking emotions!
Don’t tell me that you are not looking for anything serious after I tell you I’m interested in meeting someone long-term and then ask come home with me after meeting you (OK so this is probably all initially my fault anyways)
Don’t lay in my bed for hours kissing and cuddling the next morning if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Don’t text me asking me out on a Brunch date two days later if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Don’t text me upset that I didn’t invite you to dinner when I tell you I’m having one of your favorite meals if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
As a matter of fact…Don’t text me like you enjoy talking to me all the time if you aren’t looking for anything serious. We ain’t friends.
Don’t ask me out to dinner if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Don’t come over to my house, cuddle under my blanket, and fall asleep watching TV if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
Don’t ask to stay at my house because you are about to go on a long trip for work if you aren’t looking for anything serious.
I am NOT here to be your convenient boyfriend. No, you CAN NOT have your cake and eat it too.
This would be the second time in less than a year, that I’ve dealt with this. I meet someone, they don’t want anything serious, but I’m invited to places, I go. We have fun. I’m taking them places. We’re laughing and having a good time. I tell them I like them. He responds back with “I like you too”. But then he starts to make subtle comments about how he’s single and isn’t really looking for anything.
But that’s only if I’m lucky.
Most guys that are guilty of the fuckboy back-out make no mention of how they want to be single. This is so they can keep riding the wave and then say “I never said that” or “I was just having fun” or “Why are you assuming things” or whatever the hell other excuse they can use because they never specifically stated anything.
But for the ones that do continue to conveniently remind me, I know what they’re doing. They’re saying this just to “check” me. Ohhh yeah, that’s right. You don’t want me to be your boyfriend, but you’re such a good guy. How can I deny you that you want to still hang out with me and have “fun”.
And you know what? My dumb ass sticks with it.
And I KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON. THE. WHOLE. TIME. But my dumb ass brain operates terribly when it comes to feelings. All of that dopamine and bullshit in my head that the science people be talking about makes me forget my name sometimes. I’m an emotional guy (as most of you know), but these type of moments tend to cater to my “throw caution to the wind” attitude, so all I be thinking is “who cares if this isn’t going to be a thing, I’m enjoying myself!”.
I’m Over it!
I’ve finally learned from my past fuck ups. Fuck your “I’m not looking for anything”. That’s your cop out. Your official “Fuckboy Back-Out”. Because, how is it that you want to spend all of your time with me; You spend money on me; I spend money on you; And you don’t want to be “exclusive”? Why? Because you want to fuck around? You can’t handle having a title? You think being in a relationship is lame? Fine. If you want to do that, do that. But when it’s all said and done, leave my space because I’d rather spend money on my damn self.
At this point I should know better. And I think I do, actually. I’ve finally learned to bow out gracefully when the signs are there. And you best be sure, I know these signs now. So when you want to go to dinner, then stop by my place afterwards then decide to spend the night. That’s going to be a no. When you text me, asking me what I’m doing because you’re “bored”. Bored better mean “horny at the moment and I’ll be on my way afterwards”. Because from now on, there ain’t no cuddling shit going on around here. Those are reserved.
Because I’m a master cuddler. Sorry, but not sorry that you’ll be missing out.