“I do not have it all together, and that’s perfectly fine.”
These are words I say a lot and pretty much live by. But I don’t always feel so confident about it. As much as I like to put a front out on how “OK” I am about where I am in life, I tend to freak out about it A LOT behind closed doors. Even to the point of tears, because you know…Men do cry. (Call me a bitch if you want to and I’ll show you bitch)
I’m usually not one for goals. When I make big decisions or big “moves”, it’s usually on a whim. Luckily for me, this has actually worked out for me most of the time as making decisions without a proper plan could blow up in your face and leave you in a worse off environment. And even when this ideology doesn’t work, I gracefully stumble around until I get to a point where I’m walking confidently upright again.
Clues that point out that I don’t have it all together.
1. I didn’t own a pair of boots until January of this year
2. I go grocery shopping to save money and eat better, but still end up getting fast food because most days I’m too tired to cook. Then my food ends up going bad.
3. I choose what wine I want to drink according to the alcohol to price ratio.
4. Actually, that goes for any alcoholic drink
5. My car has been overheating while idling for months now and I still haven’t gotten it fixed.
6. I owe State taxes for both SC and NC and even though I have a big refund that will cover them both, I’ll probably spend my refund on something silly then freak out when April 17th comes around and I have to scrounge up money to pay the IRS
7. I tend to not have complete thoughts, about a lot of things…This post is probably one of those things…
I could keep going but we’d be here all day…
At 30, I thought that I would know exactly what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I would ultimately be satisfied with my career. Be married. Have a family. A kid or two. Nice House. Nice Car. But, out of all of those things, I’ve only actually accomplished two or three of those “goals”. When we were younger, we have these ideas of what a “happy” life is. Usually depicted by social media, and TV, and whatever else we let influence our lives. And obviously everyone’s timeline is different, but life kind of just flies by without you noticing if you don’t stop to smell the roses. Don’t get me wrong, my life is wonderful and I would not trade it for anything. I have a loving family, a loving fur-child, a home to live in and a great job just to name a few things. The issue here is just that life gets a little cray cray at times, and you think about why are you still dealing with certain things you thought wouldn’t be an issue at this age.
This journey we call life is tough. I don’t have it all together, and I don’t think many people at 30 do. I’d hope that at 40 that maybe I’ll have it all together, and if I don’t, I’m sure that there will be people at that age that still won’t have it together either. I mean, what’s “having it all together” really mean anyway? And if you do, please give me your tips and tricks and let me know because I need all the help I can get.