I will be 30 in two weeks. Minus a recent blip on the radar, I have spent the majority of my adult life single.
As 30 quickly approaches, and I enter another year of attempting to embrace my singleness, I have been trying to think of some logical reasons as to why I’m still single.
Here’s what I’ve got so far:
1. I didn’t forward quite a few of those chain letters in middle school that said do this or you will never find love.
2. I’m not a huge sports fan.
3. I’m too tall
4. I’m not an amazing dancer which makes me not appealing at clubs
5. Resting bitch face
6. My love of Harry Potter (this one I don’t understand)
7. Social awkwardness
8. I have been cursed
9. People get explosive diarrhea when they think about talking to me and therefore run to the bathroom. When they come out I’ve disappeared.
10. I am too good of a wing woman
11. I’m a super hero. My super power is scaring people away.
12. I blink really hard sometimes. It makes people think I’m crazy.
13. I’m a therapist. This scares people.
14. People realize how awesome I am. Realize they don’t deserve me. So they go find someone less awesome to love instead.
15. My cooking/baking is so amazing it causes them to fear that they will gain a bunch of weight being with me so they run (figuratively that is).
16. Mama ain’t raise no fool.
17. Neither did my dad.
18. The older I get, the lower my tolerance for bullshit becomes.
19. My hip to waist ratio is not correct.
20. I look bougie
21. I was meant to be a military wife. My entire childhood prepared me for it. I do not live near a military base.
22. I’m intimidating
23. The idea of meeting people scares me.
24. I have briefly met, fallen in loved, and planned weddings with so many people that God is just like “look here. You need to stop.”
25. I’m convinced most people are serial killers.
26. I am not ordering pizza at the right time, therefore the really hot pizza delivery man has not shown up at my house yet.
27. Luke Kuechly is just really nervous.
28. This is some sort of test. I am failing miserably.
29. My introverted nature makes me hate chit chat and small talk. These things appear to me integral parts of meeting people and getting to know them and making them fall in love.
30. Pretty sure it’s those stupid chain letters.
So…if you to are approaching an age where you never imagined you would still be single but alas here you are…what are the logical explanations you have come up with for this phenomenon?!?!