I feel that I’m a textbook extroverted introvert. I do love being around people, but all in all, it is draining. Earlier in my social life (like around my college years), I was probably very extroverted, but over time things have changed. I used to get energy from going out and being around people, but now my body just gets drained from doing this; Physically, emotionally, and most importantly mentally. Since this happens, more often than not, I tend to shut down and shut the world out and not be seen for a good amount of time. A lot of people don’t understand because they’ve only seen me when I’m out having fun and partying (I.E. only following my Instagram life) and not when I’m home in my comfy clothes doing nothing but watching TV and playing video games.
But when I do go out, I do have fun, indeed. Most of the time, I have more fun than expected, and that’s normal. However, I do tend to have anxiety that slightly fuels my introvertism (made up word), so there’s always these thoughts of “do these people really like me?”, “am I being annoying?”, “are they just inviting me because they think I’m sad?” that always plays in my head; and even though I went out and had fun that last time, I might stay in because maybe those thoughts played in my mind a little more and I just decide to stay home in my happy place, instead of just enjoying the moment for what it is. My anxiety is probably another Blog post for another day, so I won’t get too deep in there. But yeah, these thoughts tend to drive me to shut down, even after I’m already out having fun, and if I have a way to bow out of a situation gracefully, I usually take advantage and leave early.
I’ve had a lot of success balancing my introverted self, with my extroverted tendencies, but recently it’s been kind of hard. Ever since my birthday, I feel like I’ve constantly been on the run on the weekends when I’m used to just laying around. I’ve been socially draining myself to no end, and I think I have like one more week where I have to find some energy to make it before I can chill out. And yes, I will have fun this week, because I’ll be around people I love, but I might not be up for anything spontaneous or lengthy. That’s kind of how this whole thing works. I know most people won’t get it, and it sounds like I’m rambling, I’m sure, but I’m trying. lol
This post is not the end all, be all explanation of extroverted introverts. Every EI person is different, and socializes different but I feel this gives a general understanding on how a good bit of us deal with social life. So if some of your seemingly extroverted friends decide that they can’t deal with people and don’t want to go out or just want to stay in with no explanation, don’t get mad, but in turn understand that maybe they are drained and can’t hang for that moment. A lot of times, I get the “but I just saw you out with so and so last night”. Well then perfect, they should understand that last night my energy was drained and today is a recharge day.
This post is more of a personal response on how people have addressed me when my introverted side has popped up after being extroverted. Plenty of times I’ve been accused of the general silliness of “Not liking people” just because I’m drained. Don’t be that person, because you never know how someone who is an EI could be affected by it.